I don’t know if it is time to debunk the myth or to embrace it as fact, that couples continue to divorce solely because of money problems. For many years, money was cited as the #1 reason for divorce in America. Recently, money problems are no longer said to be the #1 reason for divorce. However, money issues do still appear in the ‘top 5’ reasons for divorce in America.
No matter where money issues stand as reasons for divorce, there are two things that every couple can do to improve their success when facing their money problems as a unit.
Communicate in Appropriate Doses
Regardless of who you read or talk to I believe that honest communication is the key to heading off and handling money problems in a relationship. Like many women, I am of the notion that communication is key. Often, our men think that we communicate too much. So, if that is the case for you too, plan to have your financial conversations in small doses. Tailor the length of discussions to suit the less communicative spouse. But, do make sure that you have comprehensive talks about finances.
Use Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship – Give Up the ‘Blame Game’
When serious money issues enter the relationship picture, band together to solve your problems together. Yes, that’s right. Refocus yourselves on solving the problems and not engaging in the ‘blame game’.
Playing the ‘blame game’ puts the focus on making your partner wrong and you right. This will only serve to corrode and cause resentment in your relationship.
Money is just one of the areas that can definitely cause strife in a relationship. No matter what the financial issue, don’t be afraid to talk and to find common ground. If you can’t work it out, seek professional help.
If you married with a commitment for the long-term, don’t let money issues drive you apart. Skills learned and earned when solving difficult problems will help to hold you together in the ‘for better or for worse’ times that you will no doubt face together.
Jane Nowak is a Financial Planner with Kring Financial Management in Atlanta, Ga. Jane’s practice focuses on Women’s Retirement Planning and Financial Planning for Women. Her articles have been published on-line at NASDAQ, Financial Planning Association , SmartMoneyChicks.com and Womenetics.com. Follow Jane on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/moneygal2020